Lady of the Scythe
by ThatGrayAreaInCompanyPolicy
Summary: Looking for a peaceful life after the war, Morgana (Fem!Harry) performs a ritual to take her to a place where she can live peacefully. Unfortunately, there's nowhere in her universe where that's possible, so the ritual throws her into the nearest alternate dimension. Now in Westeros, she's got to be a part of the Game of Thrones. Fem!Powerful!Ravenclaw!MoD!Harry.
1. Chapter 1

**I own nothing. Seriously, nothing. It all belongs to J. K. Rowling and to George R. R. Martin.**

**This is a story all about how Lady Morgana Dorea Potter-Peverell performs a ritual to find a place to live in peace after the war, without marriage proposals, the press, or the ministry bothering her. Unfortunately, there's nowhere in her universe where that can happen, so the ritual, fueled by the power of the Deathly Hallows, takes her to the nearest (seen in a non-linear, non-subjective, quantum-derived fashion) alternate universe. That universe is anything but a place for her to live in peace. It's the end of Robert's Rebellion when she shows up. Now, she must play the Game of Thrones. **

Chapter 1: Where the bloody hell am I?

After the fall of the Dark Lord Voldemort, there would have been an outcry from the 'purebloods' of the Wizengamot. They would demand the punishment of one Morgana Dorea Potter-Peverell. The problem with that theory was the fact that those who would punish her for killing 'upstanding citizens' that of course were all pureblood supporters of Voldemort, were dead. She had done her share in the war effort by killing every damned Death Eater she saw.

-SceneBreak-

And she was good at it too. The Ravenclaw spent a lot of time learning to fight after her first year, when he Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher was possessed by Voldemort. She was casting silently mid-way through her third year.

In her second year, in addition to her private lessons on dueling from Professor Flitwick, she had to deal with a 1000 year-old basilisk in the school. She received the dueling lessons after telling him about her status as the primary focus of the thought-to-be-dead Dark Lord. She cracked the Chamber of Secrets mystery with the help of her friend Luna Lovegood by the end of Christmas Break. Then she explored the Chamber where she found some books that only she could read. They spoke of magics only parselmouths could use, and she learned that. She also found a self-updating family tree of Slytherin's family.

She was disgusted to learn that she was much related to Voldemort. The only consolation is that she could claim the Gaunt Ladyship because of his attempted murder of her. Luna taught her Occlumency at that point, as she now had real secrets to keep. She was also prompted to take an inheritance test at Gringotts.

The Dursleys were no problem, they hadn't been for years, since Morgana started actively using magic at age six.

The inheritance test told her a lot, really. She now knew that Sirius Black, her Godfather had no trial, so she was the inheritor of the Black fortune. She learned about her parent's wills, which caused her to be emancipated, and told her that she could probably twist Dumbledore's arm into giving her private tutelage with the threat of going public with the wills. (That was her friend Daphne's suggestion.) Now controlling two branches of the Peverell House, she could claim Ladyship of the Ancient Clan.

When she summoned her Head of House rings, the Goblins got VERY angry. The Gaunt ring was a Horcrux, which they summarily removed, then they used the bank's wards to scan for any more. There was her scar and something in the Lestrange vault. Both were eliminated.

When her scar's Horcrux was removed, her power levels increased, and she was happy about that.

The real surprise was that when she returned to Hogwarts for her third year, the first time Dumbledore raised his wand, it flew into her hand, and then was absorbed into her skin. Then the stone on the Gaunt ring and her Father's Cloak of Invisibility merged with her as well. Then, amazingly enough, a scythe appeared, and came with a bunch of memories about the usage of the weapon. Thankfully, this happened in the first private meeting of their agreement, and not in from of the entire school.

Aside from learning more advanced magic and annoying Snape with her Occlumency barriers, the school year was largely uneventful, with the exception of clearing her Godfather of his alleged 'crimes'.

That summer, she learned from the Black and Peverell libraries. And found another Horcrux in the form of Slytherin's Locket.

She was unfortunate enough to have to deal with being selected as the fourth Tri-wizard Champion in her fourth year, where she accidentally helped Voldemort resurrect himself. Throughout the tournament, Flitwick helped her develop a spell repertoire suitable for a monster hunter, her 'career choice'. She was smart enough to keep that away from Fudge, who would surely vilify her.

Fifth year was all training, and DADA was particularly good, with Sirius recovered enough to teach it. That year both she and Voldemort had a victory. Voldy got the prophecy, and she disposed of the Horcrux in Ravenclaw's Diadem with the help of the Goblins.

That left two going into her sixth year. Sirius retired from his teaching post, as he had lots of Black Family business to attend to. At least they had three years in a row of competent teachers, even though one was actually a Death Eater.

Severus Snape, the Dungeon Bat, took over that post. His focus was mainly on Dark Curses that the Death Eaters tend to favor, as the Ministry was finally acknowledging his return to life. Horace Slughorn took over the job as Potions Master of Hogwarts. And private tuition with Flitwick and Dumbledore continued.

Dumbledore had wanted to waste her time with Horcruxes, though she quickly removed him of the misconception of her ignorance. Then he started to teach her advanced and obscure magic. They figured out, by the end of the year, that only Voldemort and his snake Nagini remained before he was dead for good.

Fortunately, Dumbledore survived, but the aggressors that Malfoy Jr let into the school did not. Most of them were decapitated or killed in another way by Morgana's spellwork or scythe.

But she was injured badly, so after healing she decided to put to use the basilisk that she had slain in second year, and commissioned the Goblins that summer to make her armor of mithril and basilisk hide. The armor is a masterpiece, form fitting, spell resistant, and able to stand up even to the force of enchanted weaponry.

Seventh year, Morgana returned to Hogwarts, and Sirius was back to protect the school as a 'consultant' for Dumbledore. And Morgana kept studying, aside from teaching her friends: Luna, Tracey, and Daphne, how to fight Death Eaters. Of course, she went on solo raids whenever she could to disrupt the Death Eaters plans and activities. The word activities being used quite lightly. It's a tame description of what they were doing.

Four years after graduating, she still hadn't left Hogwarts, she was gaining Masteries. Potions, Charms, Transfiguration, Defense, Care of Magical Creatures, Runes, Arithmancy, even Alchemy. All achieved, along with the death of Nagini. At the too-high cost of all her three friend's lives at the hand of Voldemort. All that was left was the final battle.

It lasted for hours, and it happened at an undisclosed location that was agreed on between the two. There were people watching as Voldemort arrived in his classic plume of darkness, and his confusion as a thestral arrived, then transformed into Morgana. Her second animagus form truly marked her as Death's creature.

Eventually, Voldemort fell to a one-way anti-apparition runic array (Morgana had been slowly setting it up since the beginning; subtly transfiguring and carving rune stones and placing them where they needed to be.) and a swing of her scythe. Ironic, really, Flight From Death struck down by Death's own weapon.

-SceneBreak-

She was a hero, but she hated the attention. The people adored her, but she wanted peace and quiet. The Ministry respected her, but she didn't want to get called to deal with more dark wizards. So she decided to find a place where she could relax, her friends were dead, so she wouldn't stay. It took nearly a year, but she finally designed a ritual that would take her where she could find peace.

She took all her gold, and all her heirlooms, and all her books, and tons of Magical Creature babies, so she could get ingredients, and a shrunken greenhouse. If she was going to live away from the Magical World, she wouldn't do it without magic. Her possessions were packed and shrunken, in the form of a necklace which she would expand and unpack upon arriving at her destination. Her armor was so magical, it couldn't be shrunken, so she wore it. Just in case.

So she fired up the ritual, and she and her belongings disappeared into nothingness. And an explosion happened, but Morgana was already transported, so she had no idea the devastation she had caused. But she left that world behind, more than she knew, and that's what she cared about.

-SceneBreak-

Boy, was she glad she wore her armor. Where she landed, there was a full-scale battle happening! She asked for peace! And now she was in the middle of another battle!

Oh well, she'd think about this later when there weren't people attempting to attack and kill her. Or not kill her, she saw the obvious lust in their eyes, and decided to 'dissuade' them. She let her inner monologue fade to the instincts of battle. But no magic, as these people appeared to be muggles.

She twisted, slashed, twirled, and sliced. She danced a dance of Death with the Peverell Scythe in her hands, those who engaged her in combat soon fell like wheat during harvest. And she was just caught in the moment, not noticing the Noble looking men staring at her from two separate angles of the battlefield.

As soon as she finished her 'dance' she checked for more enemies, and finding none, transformed into a thestral and flew away. She avoided enemy archers by flying away from the direction where her foes streamed from.

As soon as she found an acceptable clearing (a comfortable spot on Fairisle), she landed and changed back. Then, she immediately began to raise a small cottage by transfiguration. She knew this would only be a temporary dwelling. She had no interest in being conscripted.

This place did look medieval, so she supposed she'd be Lady Peverell, it wasn't a 'commoner's' name like Potter. Lady Morgana Peverell. She liked the sound of that. She would have to get her own land though, for her creatures. She pondered the place she was in, as it clearly wasn't anywhere she knew. Perhaps she'd extract the knowledge from the next person she encountered, from their mind of course. This was while she drank tea and ate some venison she found. She slept after warding the area wondering how soon she'd make contact with other people.

But she didn't know that a scout had a telescope trained on her descent, and was able to tell his Lord that the Lady of the Scythe was still on this island.

-SceneBreak-

"Ned, who in the Seven Hells was that?" Robert Baratheon slurred, deep in his cups.

The stalwart Stark shook his head, sipping summer wine, "I have no idea, old friend, but we should be grateful to her. She routed an entire battalion of Ironborn by herself. They would have caused us problems if they had gotten behind our lines, and they would have if not for that Lady. What shall we call her until we know her name, My Lord?"

"We'll use the name that the scout gave her! The Lady of the Scythe! She saved our asses Ned, you know that?" The Stag King said drunkenly.

"Of course. How do we go about approaching her, My Lord?"

"Send a King's missive, I'd do it myself, but we're getting drunker than normal. Why are we getting this drunk after a victory?"

"Because the pretty Lady who cut through Ironborn like a hot knife through soft butter turned into a creepy flying horse. And we'd rather forget that part." Ned deadpanned.

"Right, right. A woman like that and I marry Cersei _fucking_ Lannister! I wonder who she really is… Her armor looked expensive, but she's not of any house I've heard of. We'll have to ask at some point."

"You really shouldn't speak of your wife like that, My Lord. And the Lady looks quite young, not even twenty years! Not one for old men like us." Ned laughed, while he dragged a ridiculously inebriated Baratheon to his tent.

After taking care of his king, the Winter Lord wrote the missive.

_To the Lady of the Scythe,_

_ King Robert Baratheon, the First of his Name, King of the Andals and the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm requests your presence on the morrow at midday, you will find an escort upon providing this missive to the guards at the edge of the camp._

_ -Lord Eddard Stark, Lord of Winterfell, Warden of the North_

He commanded the maester to send the missive using a raven. Surely it would be able to find the mysterious Lady. Sure enough, the raven left to deliver.

**AN: Hey guys! Do you like this concept? (I don't care, I enjoy writing it) Still following my muse! Nearly done with Ch. 3 for My HP/One Piece cross, and I'm working on chapter 2 of this. See you soon!**

**-ThatGreyAreaInCompanyPolicy**


	2. Chapter 2

**Still own nothing, lol.**

**To answer a question about thestral mechanics, they would be able to see the Morgana's form because they were in a war and they would have definitely seen death.**

'_letters and messages_**'**

Morgana rose at nearly ten in the morning, and was immediately startled by the raven perched quietly in her window. She read the missive and decided that it was either a very complex joke, or she wasn't on Earth anymore. She had nearly two hours to the meeting and decided that she had best be prepared for the worst. She broke out a bottle of Firewhiskey to make a good impression on the Nobles. Nobles like booze, right? And if this wasn't Earth, then they'd have nothing near Firewhiskey.

She also wore her armor, it was a warzone after all. Her hair was done nicely (think Tauriel's hairstyle from her Desolation of Smaug character poster) and efficiently. Though she was still amused inordinately by her newest moniker. The Girl-Who-Lived, the Lady-Of-Death, the Woman-Who-Conquered. Now she had a new one, and ironically, she already liked it better. Before she knew it, it was nearly midday. She shifted into her thestral form, grabbed the letter in her teeth, and flew to the edge of the camp.

-SceneBreak-

Pete had seen a lot of things in his 30 years, working mostly as a city guard since he was ten and six. He had seen whores fighting naked in the streets. He'd seen two men so drunk they thought each other women, the morning after that, a fight broke out between the two. There was the flaming dung incident, and not a single person involved thought it was normal. But what he was seeing now takes the cake for strange things.

There was a winged horse carrying a missive from the king. It was unbridled, and walking like it owned the place. Strutting even. Did he mention that the thing was positively skeletal? Not a thin skeletal, just dead looking.

But he had his orders, and gestured to the monstrosity, "Come on, I'm to lead you to the King." The eerie horse followed with frighteningly little leading. It was definitely more than a little creepy.

When Pete saw Evan bow to the horse, he resolved to ask him. When other soldiers also bowed, he was decidedly unnerved. Even more so when the horse-like creature let out a snort that was definitely amusement.

Meanwhile, Morgana was conducting a series of Legilimency scans to find a good way to have a cover story for the nobles she was meeting. Thankfully, she had a good idea by the time that she reached the King's encampment. She wouldn't want to be title-less in front of such men. No good could ever come of being under nobles, in her opinion.

-SceneBreak-

"Ned! Do I look alright? The Lady of the Scythe is going to be here soon!" Robert panicked.

"You look fine," Ned assured, "But you're a married man! You can't bed her if she's a Lady."

"I'll divorce Cersei, the bitch is as cold as ice, and if this one is unmarried I'll take her instead! And if she's no Lady… perhaps she'd be my mistress?"

"And anger the Lannisters? That doesn't seem wise."

"Ned, this woman didn't break a sweat cutting through a battalion of Ironborn! I must have her!" Robert pleaded.

Before Ned could respond, a guard poked his head through the tent flaps and said, "I have your…. Guest? here, shall I allow it through?"

"IT!" "Yes" Robert and Ned said at the same time. Then Ned whispered in Robert's ear, and the King got a look of understanding on his face.

The guard left and the skeletal horse they saw yesterday saunter into the tent. Once no one else was there, it transformed back into a woman. Robert in particular was transfixed by the seemingly black hair with a blood-red sheen to it on the tall and curvy woman. Ned was rightfully impressed with the figure Morgana cut, but he was also fascinated by her armor.

Unsurprisingly, Ned was the first to compose himself, so he asked the million dragon question: "So what may we call you?"

"I am known by Lady Morgana Peverell." The dimension jumper responded, while holding out her right hand, which had the Peverell family ring on in, a black diamond and gold signet, engraved with various runes and the deathly hallows sign, along with a thestral rearing up.

Robert shook his head rapidly, "I've never heard of that house before…"

"You wouldn't have, we were the House that ruled in the shadows in Old Valyria, and since its fall we have been in the Far East, largely in isolation. But now I am the last of my clan, I have decided to come to Westeros. I just happened to show up in the middle of your battle." The emerald-eyed woman cut in. Then she decided to throw in some respect, "King Baratheon."

"Not My King?"

"A Peverell never bows nor bends the knee. Not that many have been foolish enough to try to force one to." The witch chuckles.

"And why is that?" Ned inquires.

"Grab my arm, and we'll go to where I can show you." Morgana says, and the boys obey. She apparates them next to the wall they were putting under siege. "Watch"

Then she hold up her left hand, and murmurs "_fiendfyre"_.

To say that the King and his friend were shocked and awed to see the wall they'd been trying to pierce for weeks melt against this Lady's conjured fire was an understatement. They were outright terrified. They damn near pissed themselves when a chipper voice in an accent they didn't recognize said "And that's just one example, that's just the most… dramatic. Do you want a more subtle demonstration?"

The two luck Lords nodded stupidly. Lady Peverell teleported them to where she saw Ironborn prisoners while she was walking through the encampment. Then she said to the guard on duty for watching the prisoners, "Any of them particularly unpleasant?"

"Yes, My Lady, that one!" The guard exclaimed. Pointing to an unpleasant mess of a bearded man who kept muttering curses under his breath.

"Well, let him up and give him a knife, then let him free. Trust me." Morgana said, feeling particularly malicious. "_Imperio" _She muttered after the guard obeyed.

The man got a glazed look in his eyes, and obeyed mechanically as Morgana commanded him with malice to castrate himself, then eat his own parts. He choked on his own cock.

Ned nervously asked, "Is there anything I can offer you so that you DON'T do that to me?"

"I second the motion…" The Stag Lord said, just as, if not more nervously.

The dimension jumper got a whimsical look on her face, while she tapped her foot and rubbed her chin. "Well, I do need some land… Just to set up my stuff, but I'd like a house in the capitol too…"

"That can all be arranged, My Lady." The suddenly respectful king responded. Then he asked, "Where would you like the land?"

"I'll just go find some land I like, then we'll figure out the logistics of it, okay?" Morgana asked innocently.

Ned sighed, "I suppose it's for the best."

"I'll see you two back in King's Landing! Bye now." The witch gave them both a hug and a kiss on the cheek, then apparated using vague directions 'a good place for my needs in Westeros'.

-SceneBreak-

"She just got here… She knew nothing of geography… How did she know that King's landing was the capitol?" Robert asked, in a rare moment of mental clarity.

"Is that a piece of parchment stuck to your back, My King?" a soldier asked.

"That it is… Thank you soldier." Ned says. "Robert, it's a message. It says that she knew we would ask this question because she planted a compulsion on you to ask it, and the guard to point on the parchment. Then it says she pulled the information straight from your mind when you were staring into her eyes.

Hey! Were you, a married man, staring into another woman's eyes?"

The King grumbles, "Yes… but they were twinkling. It was a trap?" He offers weakly.

"This is insane. We need to talk to the maesters about this. We need to do something about her. Who could control her as a husband?" Ned grumbles.

Then a piece of parchment appeared over the Winter Lord's face. The writing faced Robert this time, and he read it, "I'll take any man who can defeat me in single combat as a husband. Good luck! This message will turn into fire (no, not the scary, stone-melting fire) when you stop reading this. –Lady Morgana."

Then it burst into flames. A somewhat scorched Ned Stark asked his friend, "How many of these messages do you think there are?" And another appeared out of thin air in front of him. '_Consider it a game… There's lots of them._' Then it turned into a bird and flew off.

"This is actually scary Robert. Do we have any recourse against this woman?"

"My friend, she made a man eat his own cock. Even if we sent armies after her, she'd have them fighting themselves. It can't be tougher to turn men against each other than to make them eat their own balls. The best we can hope for, really, is that she's reasonable and doesn't sabotage anything too important." Robert reasoned.

Another slip of parchment appeared on the King's cheek, '_Very good, Robby. I can call you that, right?'_ "No, she cannot!"

'_Just for that, I've pranked King's Landing_'

"She did WHAT!"

'_Just wait and see!'_

**AN: So even in the midst of a war-torn country, Morgana decides that a peaceful existence will be a thin for her, and if she wants to prank the King, that's what she'll do. This story is becoming more of a comedy and less of an anything else even remotely relevant. It should be fun to write, I'll even consider suggestions, but I already know what the first prank is. Till next time! With love, ThatGreyAreaInCompanyPolicy**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi! I'm back, it's been a rough couple of weeks for me, so I couldn't do much writing, but I'm back now (hopefully at a steady pace if I get my shit together). I'm very excited for this story, and by the feedback I'm getting (holy crap guys, I was not expecting this much of it!) you are too. **

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing. I'm only playing in the sandboxes of Rowling and Martin.**

**Without further ado- Chapter 3**

Chapter 3: Cersei's frustration and the first prank of King's Landing

Cersei's eye twitched. Repeatedly. Under normal circumstances, she was a cool and collected woman, very good at controlling her emotions. But when she got really angry, her left eye twitched. Repeatedly.

Why was the Queen who had no love for her husband, a husband off fighting a war, so angry? It was, of course, Robert Baratheon's fault. He wasn't there in King's Landing with her, but his letter was. At least she finally had an explanation for what happened about three hours earlier.

*Flashback*

The mid-day meal had just concluded when it started. At exactly 1:37pm, every man who wasn't a knight stood. They all cleared their throats and took deep breaths. Then they began to sing and dance:

_**We're men, we're men in tights.**_

_**We roam around the forest looking for fights.**_

_**We're men, we're men in tights.**_

_**We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right!**_

_**We may look like sissies, but watch what you say or else we'll put out your lights!**_

_**We're men, we're men in tights,**_

_**Always on guard defending the people's rights.**_

Cersei ran from the dining hall, worried about her people's sanity; defending people's rights? What a laugh! But nowhere in the castle was safe, everywhere she went, there was a group singing. Oddly enough, but not so odd, really, Varys the Spider wasn't singing and dancing.

_**We're men, MANLY men, we're men in tights. Yeah!**_

_**We roam around the forest looking for fights.**_

_**We're men, we're men in tights.**_

_**We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right!**_

_**We may look like pansies, but don't get us wrong or else we'll put out your lights.**_

_**We're men, we're men in tights (TIGHT tights),**_

_**Always on guard defending the people's rights.**_

_**When you're in a fix just call for the men in tights!**_

_**We're butch.**_

And then they all returned to their normal spots, and all of the men apologized profusely for their obscene behavior. Once she left, everyone talked in whispered to each other. For once, every noble was in agreement in their concern.

*End Flashback*

The letter the Queen received from her husband was both a relief and frightening. And completely rage inducing. And she wanted to meet this woman causing so much confusion for the 'great' Robert Baratheon.

The great oaf had managed to meet a very powerful Lady, who wasn't even intimidated by a Kingship, and could subvert a great many Ironborn alone. And he subsequently annoyed her, like an idiot. And this Lady was also a sorceress, by the sound of things. And a powerful one with a penchant for mischief.

The King would be met with a very unhappy wife and Queen. She wanted to ask, 'how bad could it get?' but realized that if she said it aloud it would likely get worse.

But this was bad enough, the damnable song. And every day at 1:37pm, the men stand up, and sing and dance, with that same stupid song. Oh, how the song stoked her hatred, and made her to be even more of a vicious, vindictive bitch than normal.

The Queen even conducted experiments. And she learned a bit about what was happening over the next week. Any man not in full armor, at 1:37pm, would begin to sing about 'men in tights'. This was if they were within the castle walls, and if they were not sick or injured. If they weren't wearing tights, whatever they were wearing turned into tights (TIGHT tights) for the duration of the song.

The worst part wasn't the daily dance number, nor the mysteriously appearing tights. It was that the song was insidious. Wherever she went, someone was always softly singing their favorite part of the song, as if trying to cure themselves of the curse. It was definitely a curse, Cersei decided, after the thirteenth day of theater-based torture.

Having declared it a curse, she received not an hour later a letter from Robert, with the good news that he was coming home with more honor and glory. Joy.

During her afternoon repast, a light meal with tea and pastries, a soft pop is heard behind her, and the Queen turns her head at a whiplash inducing speed to confront the interloper.

She sees a woman who exudes power, and knows instantly that the Lady of the Scythe is in her garden. Her eyes narrow as she assesses the woman who has captured the ever-noble, but married Eddard Stark's attention.

The woman is outfitted in an elegant dress that appears to be made entirely of a snake's shedding, though it appears to be only a single piece of material, and is more vibrantly green than any serpent she had ever seen. The thing must have cost more than any commoner earned in a ten lifetimes.

The Lady wore elegant and expensive jewelry, though it was also very tasteful. Black diamond string earrings, a necklace of emeralds and black gold, and talisman-like bracelets, along with a peculiar ring on her right thumb and an ethereal band on her left middle finger (a mythril ring that Morgana can use as a focus). The strangest thing was that every time she moved, her jewelry would glint with abnormal markings. Despite the gut reaction that these markings were imperfections, within a few minutes it was obvious that the markings were intentional.

And that was at first glance. Then jealousy and rage well up within the Queen as she notices how better this Lady is. Her eyes a more vibrant green, full of life and fun and mischief, but also wisdom. Her hair with a luster and sheen no normal woman could achieve, and a blood red only seen in the glinting of light that was quite enchanting. Her curves were more pronounced than the Queen's and her figure slimmer, but in a healthy way, otherwise. And worst of all, the impossibly smug confidence that spoke of powerful ease and no desire or need to follow the rules.

A true menace, and if Robert had his way, he'd wed and bed her. With absolutely no regard for her or her Joffrey, or even the baby growing in her now. But despite that, she couldn't imagine that happening. Especially not if she made 'friends' with the obviously dangerous woman.

All of these thoughts occurred in the space of less than three seconds.

A melodic voice cuts her musings short, "Hello Cersei Lannister, my name is Morgana Peverell."

"You must be mistaken, I am Queen Cersei Baratheon. I have married Robert, who I believe you have met."

"That changes nothing, you are still a Lannister, and you have similarly never thought yourself a Baratheon, save for that on time with your first son. Unfortunate, that was…"

Cersei bristled involuntarily at the mention of her true first-born. "How is it that you know of him?!"

"I cannot help but to read your surface thoughts, you project them so loudly; you should work on that, and when I said that you never considered yourself a Baratheon, that was the first thing in your mind." The immortal witch replied with just the right amount of sadness.

Cersei nodded stiffly, "Would you care to join me for tea and pastries?"

"Of course, Queen Cersei." Morgana sat, and charmed the tea to pour itself for her, and the necessary other ingredients to add themselves, using her ring, of course. Then she waved her hand over every item on her plate, checking for poison. She may be immortal, but poison was never welcome, besides, there's no need to give up her ultimate trump card so early.

"What are you doing?"

"Checking for poison. A very wise man once ingrained the concept of _constant vigilance_ into my head. It's been six years since he died, and I still always check my food and drink, even what I occasionally prepare myself. I mean no offense."

The Queen nodded, then smirked, "If you mean no offense, then why not address me as 'My Queen'?" The query seemed reasonable and easy, but the mirth shining in the Scythe bitch's eyes was unsettling.

"Oh my, I seem to recall a very similar exchange with your Lord Husband. But I shall tell you, unlike him, the true Peverell words. 'Death does not bow, but to a Peverell'."

"And why are those your words? They seem quite presumptuous."

"Ah, this is the most fun part; you see, I will give you information, but I will not allow you to use it." Morgana says as she casts a complex secrecy-compulsion charm on Cersei. "You see, my ancient ancestors did craft three artifacts that united would grant the possessor immortality. And I have truly united them, and am immortal. I cannot die. And you cannot speak of this to anyone. For your part in making me give up a secret, I'll set into motion another prank. Bye now!"

And she popped away.

Just then, her precious Joffrey passed through the doorway arch to the garden, and his skin was turned a violent magenta. Cersei just really hoped that it wasn't in every archway. But the more pressing concern for her was the mangled rabbit carcass her little boy was holding.

The next day, she witnessed the fourteenth performance of that abominable 'men in tights' song, except it was a veritable rainbow that performed. Discolored hair, eyes, and clothes. Body hair and individual oddities. It was frankly very disturbing.

A note fell from nowhere, _I'll see you again when Robby gets back. You might want to work on your eye twitching though. We'll talk business then._

**AN: Hey, so I just cranked this out, I thought it was pretty decent. I appreciate your support, and I totally want more feedback. Also, comment with prank ideas. I have plenty, but new ideas are always good. ThatGreyAreaInCompanyPolicy**


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